Internal Family Systems: You and all your parts

Have you ever found yourself saying “a part of me really wants to try this new thing but a part of me is terrified?” Well, welcome to the world of IFS (internal family systems)! IFS is a therapy modality that helps you explore your inner world and thinking. So how does it work? IFS is built on a simple yet profound idea: our minds are made up of different parts, each with its own perspective, emotions, and motivations. This blog will break down the basics of IFS and help you embark on your journey of healing parts from within.

The first and maybe most important rule in IFS is “There are no bad parts.” This is often said by IFS creator, Dr. Schwartz. This means that even when we feel big emotions, our parts all have a purpose/motivation. Some parts act as managers, these are typically parts of us that are perfectionists, inner critics, even care takers. Other parts, known as firefighters, are parts that hold shame or fear, they may be more impulsive or reactive. Both the managers and firefighters are also known as protectors. You can think of these protectors as our inner controllers or avoiders, their job is to work hard to keep exiles hidden or safe. Exile parts are our wounded or traumatized parts. It’s important to remember that in IFS, we don’t try to get rid of parts- we actively work to listen to them.

So how do we listen to our parts? Within each of us is what IFS refers to as the Self. The self is calm, curious, and compassionate towards our parts. IFS is built to help us access Self so it can build trust within our parts and lead the internal system with clarity and care. Self can help our parts feel heard and understood-rather than shamed or suppressed.

Healing happens not by forcing change, but by creating a safe internal environment where parts can let go of burdens they've carried for years. IFS is not just a therapy — it’s a shift in how we see ourselves. One that invites curiosity, compassion, and connection within.

By: Stephanie Fox LCSW