We cannot always make sense of challenges in our lives and change can be more routine than anything else. Maybe life’s events seem to happen to you and around you. Thoughts intrude, which then effect your feelings and mood. Your next decision is based on your beliefs, which may be rational or irrational. Sometimes the consequences are not so much based on the event itself but our belief about the event.
It is important to assert, what is true, to regulate our emotions and remain in the present moment.
I encourage clients to exercise a framework using their bodies to remember their self-worth, recognize what is within their control, and repeat these positive affirmations.
HEAD – Touch your temples and say, “I decide what to think about.”
Recognize that your abilities include determining your thoughts and self- talk. Take time to challenge your ‘inner critic’. Decide what beliefs are rational and irrational in your current situation. Ask yourself if there is any basis in fact, if the words are kind, and if it is information you need to know. Acknowledge that you alone decide what thoughts are worth the investment of your time. Remind yourself to show self-compassion and self-respect. Identify and challenge negative thinking styles.
SHOULDERS – Put your shoulders back, stand up straight and say, “I choose what will burden me today.” You are in control of what you burden yourself with and carry. Some weight is ours to bear and some weight is just wearing us down. We are often carrying the responsibility of others’ feelings. Are you saying, ‘he should’ or ‘she should’? Check yourself and recognize what is their battle and what is yours. We often fill our backpack with the rubble of events we could not change, and shards of what other’s have broken. Burdening ourselves with feelings of resentment, defensiveness, unforgiveness, and displaying weak boundaries only increases our load.
HEART – Place your hand over your heart and say, “I have value and am worthy of love.”
Each of us is unique and adds to the life of another. You are worth an investment in positive choices, supportive relationships, and creative meaning in your life. Acknowledge the wonder and see your potential. Self-worth is not determined by your appearance, your net worth, your relationship status, your age, who you know, what you do, or even what you achieve. It simply exists. You are worthy of happiness, fulfillment, and love. Hold a high opinion of yourself and your value as a person.
HANDS – Squeeze and relax your hands and say, “I choose what to hold and when to let go.”
Our hands represent control. The balance of holding on and letting go is what life is about. We are in constant change with our priorities, surroundings, roles and relationships of love, work, and play. Our hands can hold and bring the past to the present or reach and bring anxious concern for the future. It is important to reach out for help if your past sabotages your focus. Take personal responsibility for your emotional health, what you hold and let go of, and see the influence you have in your own behavior, attitude, and motivation.
GUT – Place your hand over your abdomen and say, “I can listen to wise intuitions.”
We often speak of our gut instincts that give direction, know right from wrong, lead us toward healthy versus unhealthy choices. While our behaviors can come from ever changing feelings, our gut is similar in its make up to the neurons and neurotransmitters found in our central nervous system. This “second brain” can play a key part in our mental and physical health, as it communicates with the brain in our head. Our intuition is a response to the decoding of emotional and nonverbal cues in the environment.
LEGS – Place your hands on your thighs and say, “I am strong and powerful.”
You have outer physical strength, as well as inner strength. Strength of character and integrity are true powerful attributes. The ability to resist doubt and overcome discouragement comes by knowing ourselves, understanding our aspirations, goals, and limits. You are capable of expressing the best version of yourself. Take the time to discover who you are, invite growth and accept change, invest in your skills, and enjoy the journey. Tackle your personal weaknesses so that you choose the direction.
FEET – Wiggle your toes and say, “I will be where my feet are.”
There is such authenticity to being consciously present and giving others your attention. This can be achieved by actively listening, responding rather than reacting, and being in the current space. The anxiety of yesterday and worry over tomorrow can be overwhelming, yet the ‘now’ is all that you have control over. If we choose to radically accept the moment, we can problem solve, share our values and strengths, encourage others, and find joy.
Curious about your current level of self-worth? The Contingencies of Self Worth Scale was developed to measure self worth in seven different domains. WWW.MIDSS.ORG
By: Lorianne Plummer
LMSW