Surviving the Stillness: Practical Tips for Depressive Episodes, Anhedonia, Avoidance Coping, and More

Sometimes life feels like all too much. Trying to balance aspects of wellness in addition to following through on our necessary responsibilities can leave people feeling spread too thin. For many, this can result in the body and mind “shutting down”. Things don’t feel enjoyable anymore, it’s difficult to get out of bed, and tasks start to feel even more daunting as they continue to build up while motivation becomes more scarce. In this article, we will review practical strategies to cope and survive through these episodes to allow necessary recovery and show kindness to our future selves.

1. Accept the Changes You Feel

   
   

Firstly, in order for these strategies to be helpful, we must first acknowledge that our capacity has changed. Oftentimes depressive episodes can be accompanied with shame. There can be disappointment and even confusion for not feeling as though our current selves are as capable as our past selves in terms of managing our livelihood. The shame and frustration can potentially prompt a “freeze” distress response which may prolong the struggle to build momentum to complete tasks or engage with activities. Accept that this is a temporary experience which requires compassion towards ourselves in order to begin the process of preserving and recovering energy. Directing anger towards the self during a depressive episode is similar to getting angry at a car for no longer running when it’s out of fuel, sure it’s frustrating but there is no willing gasoline back into the tank! It requires intentional effort to address the appropriate need. 

2. Reduce Chore Strain

   
   

Chores can be difficult to maintain motivation for even at the best of times, let alone when we’re burnt out and exhausted. Everyone usually has specific chores which may require additional effort to complete. Whether that’s actually putting away the laundry, cleaning dishes, or preparing meals, there can be alternative means to accomplishing these tasks or decreasing the effort necessary to completing the chore. Examples include using disposable plates and silverware during the episode to ensure dishes don’t pile up in the sink, finding two to three outfits that suit your typical daily needs and keeping them on a cycle in order to decrease laundry and executive energy spent planning outfits or finding clothes. Developing systems can also be helpful to keep things accessible and simplified. For example, keeping one outfit to wear and one outfit on top of the washing machine to swap back and forth as necessary or cooking one large batch of food that can be eaten throughout the week rather than making multiple meals. A question that can help determine how to prioritize energy is “are there any consequences if I do not complete this today?”. It’s okay to want to stay organized and maintain previously established standards of living. Also, these tasks will remain available to be completed as the energy to do so resurfaces. 

3. Take Care of Your Body

   
   

During particularly difficult episodes, it can feel like running a marathon just to get out of bed and clean our bodies. When this is the case, try keeping a personal hygiene kit where you spend the majority of your time (next to the bed, at the computer, in the living room, etc.) If it’s difficult to brush your teeth, keep mouthwash and a cup in the kit. Have a pack of baby wipes to be able to clean the body without the same energy requirements as taking a bath or shower. If you have longer hair, consider braiding it, or wearing a silk bonnet, through the episode to protect from matting or knots. If cooking is difficult, find a shelf stable, nutrient dense, food to keep in the kit such as protein bars, trail mix, fruit sauce packets, jerky, or whatever your body feels motivated to eat. Frozen meals or pre-made food can also be a helpful alternative when cooking becomes overwhelming while additionally preventing food from spoiling in the fridge. Nourishment is vital to keep the body functioning and is essential to maintain overall wellness.  

4. Build Momentum Through Intervals

   
   

As episodes continue, it can feel almost paralyzing to consider initiating tasks that were paused through the period of low motivation. Rather than attempting to resolve all outstanding tasks at once, consider setting an interval of time where consistent effort will be attempted. Try setting a timer for an amount of time that feels manageable, 15 increments can be a good place to start when establishing a baseline! Start with a less intimidating task such as a chore that is typically not as difficult to complete or even engaging with an enjoyable task such as playing with a pet or connecting with a loved one. Practice taking an internal inventory before the task (How do I feel? What do I notice in my body when I consider doing the task? How might I feel once I make progress?) as well as after. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy provides us with the concept of “mood momentum” which suggests that as we build an emotion we are more apt to continue to build the same emotion through use of various skills. By using intervals to attempt tasks, we create the opportunity to begin to build momentum towards improved mood and feelings of accomplishment which may develop into motivation for continued effort.

In this hectic world, exhaustion often hits us all eventually. Whether that’s as a result of depression, recovering from an illness or injury, grief, or a multitude of other reasons. By showing ourselves empathy and having the courage to realistically meet ourselves with where we’re at, we start the process of rebuilding. As energy eventually returns, then we can reevaluate the circumstances which got us to the point of fatigue in the first place. Are there more opportunities to practice self care? What relationships and connections help support when we’re down? Is our energy being spent in areas that we want? Are there any strategies that we can carry over to prevent similar experiences in the future? Therapy can be a helpful resource in order to assess how different variables are impacting wellness. Regardless, know that trying to maintain wellness is worthy of recognition, even if trying looks different from season to season!

By: Hannah Bisges LCSW